Let me be clear: I’m not actually writing this for you, I’m writing this for me. The last few weeks, I’ve been hitting road blocks everywhere and there are moments –more of them than I care to admit–that I think, “Maybe I’m not supposed to be doing this.”
If you’re a business owner, I am willing to bet that you are VERY familiar with this feeling.
When things go wrong, or simply refuse to go right, how can we shake things up without giving up? Most of us work on our own and it’s easy to get lost in our own head. I liken this feeling of ‘stuckness’ to stepping in quicksand; the more you struggle, the weaker you become and the deeper you sink.
So, allow me to suggest the first and most important step: DON’T PANIC. Never panic. This isn’t life or death. It’s all a process, ok?
Ok. Breathe.
- Meet your fears head on
You’ve heard this a million times, I know. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. But think about it: our fears likely sabotage our development, providing us with endless excuses not to try something new. However, that something could very well become a new talent or passion or interest, leading us in an unexpected and exciting direction. By meeting your fear head on, I don’t mean spend a night in a haunted house or go base jumping. But if you do—send photos! Let’s try reframing your fear as discomfort. I’ll use myself as an example: I’m incredibly uncomfortable speaking to large crowds. I’m also super grossed out at the thought of seeing myself on camera. I could counteract these uncomfortable scenarios by scheduling a talk or hosting a webinar series. - Break the routine
This one is a little tricky because great habits and routines can provide balance and structure and stability. All great things. However, these routines may also give us a false sense of security and control and box us in—we might find ourselves saying ‘no’ because our calendar tells us to. “Hey calendar, you’re not the boss of me!”
“I liken this feeling of ‘stuckness’ to stepping in quicksand; the more you struggle, the weaker you become and the deeper you sink.”
So how can we keep the benefits of healthy routines but also encourage flexibility? The following points are great places to start:
- Try to do something new every day. Strike up a conversation with a stranger, take that new class at the gym, sketch in a notebook instead of scrolling on your phone.
- Avoid time-wasting and mindless routines. Like checking Facebook every single time you open your computer or spacing out to trashy TV when you return home from a long day.
- Make it a point to break your routine at least a few times a week.
- Shut it down!
We are expected to tune in to so many things all the damn time! Social media, email, texts, phone calls…does it ever end? The answer is a resounding NO—and this is why boundaries are more important than ever. Studies show that too much screen time and heightened multitasking can leave us feeling scattered, anxious and may even lead to depression. When we feel this obligation to stay connected and engaged at all times, our online interactions can become a real slog. It can weigh you down and cause unnecessary stress.In this case, setting a new routine might be just what the doctor ordered. Try the following to get your screen time under control:
- Give yourself 2, 30 minute social media sessions a day. Put these times on your calendar and stay true to that 30 minute cap!
- Enforce a curfew. Be sure to power down your phone or computer at the same time every night. My suggestion is 6pm. Oh, your phone is your alarm you say? Get a damn alarm clock!
- Manage expectations. For those of us who run a business, we might feel a certain obligation to make ourselves available at all times. Do not do this! Unless you’re a heart surgeon–where it is a matter of life or death–establish set business hours. Make sure your clients and employees are aware of this and stick to it. Because you know what: unless someone’s life is at stake, it doesn’t matter. Period.
- Recognize the awesomeness in your life
So back to feeling stuck. You’ve hit a wall—this happens to everyone. In all honesty, there’s a good chance that, deep down, you already know what to do about your unhappiness. It could simply be a matter of finding the courage to make a change, trying something completely new or taking a break. The key to finding a new strategy is to brighten your mindset: think about the past year, your accomplishments, your awesome family/friends/coworkers—much has changed and you have so much to be proud of. If not, then things can only get better from here! It’s important to cut yourself some slack, remind yourself that all successful individuals experience huge influxes of failure and that you deserve the time and the space to forge your own path.
Hang in there, friend. You can do this!
